My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
