My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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