fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
