I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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