wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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