Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
