Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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