You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
