worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
