Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think I died a long time ago.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
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Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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