I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
