Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
