she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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