shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
