if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
