some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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