I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
