I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
