Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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