It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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