So drunk its hurt
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
