so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
