Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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