Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
dude. I can hear the air.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
