I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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