If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
