You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
