I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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