I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
