Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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