i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
home. puking in laundry basket.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
