i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
