living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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