Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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