question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Randomize
