Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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