I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
