Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
