So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
