I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
