garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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