Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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