so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
