I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
