then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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