I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
