Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
