i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
