So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
