My hair reeks of homosexuality.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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