"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
they need to just BURY HIM!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
