OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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