is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
