i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
