nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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