Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
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we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
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While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize