No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
