She said her name was "party"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
