If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
