Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
