shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
