I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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