Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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