I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
